The Trash's Paella in a Pot

0. The preparation

• A big aluminium pot because it conducts heat rapidly and allows for more flexibility in timing
• Pressure cooker top for the above pot to expedite cooking time
• Borrow ingredients from mom because you didn't go grocery shopping this morning and our lunchtime guest only told you last night that he was arriving in town today

1. The meats

• Cut up chicken wings/drumsticks and quail into limb-sized pieces
• Salt both sides
• Fry in oil for a while until the skin begins to yellow/brown -- no need to cook it well
• Toss into big pot (without the oil)

2. The veggies

• Chop up large handfuls of onions, tomatoes (peeled), green peppers and red peppers into finger-nail sized bits
• Fry onions, then add in green peppers, fry, then add in red peppers, fry, then add in tomatoes, fry
  
  (If you are not a "fundamentalist" you can expedite this step by cooking all the vegetables in one go. But be warned, the Trash may frown upon you.)

3. The seafood

• Take off the heads and shells from small shrimps, collect the heads/shells in a separate small pot.
• Add some water to this small pot and boil the shrimp throwaways for a while.
• Filter this broth into a collecting cup.
• Take a pestle and gently ground the shrimp heads in the pot to squeeze the juices out.
• Add a bit of water to this mix and filter out the broth again into the same collecting cup.
  
  This broth will later be used as a substitute for water when we cook the rice.
  
  
• Collect any of the clam water into the broth cup, remember to filter.
• Cut up squid into strips.
  
  
• Toss the seafood into the pan with the vegetables and let them cook together for a while. Then toss everything into the big pot.
  

4. The extras

• Gently ground one tooth of garlic in a mortar and pestel.
• Add parsley (just the leaves, preferably dried) and gently ground.
• Add a dash of white wine and mix.
  
  
• Squeeze the juice out of half a lemon.
  
  
• Ground some saffron (threads, not powder) gently with a dash of white wine.
  

5. The rice

• Prepare one-and-a-half as much water/broth as you want rice. Use the broth collected before as much as possible and add water to make up the rest of the volume.
• Add a bit of extra water/broth and cook everything in the big pot for a while (5 minutes, no more).
• Add in the lemon juice and garlic/parsley here.
  
  
• Add in the white people's rice now. (Here we used Arroz SOS, which is known for its initial resistance to bursting/swelling.)
  
  
• Stir the contents of the pot (but never ever after) and bring to a boil.
• Add in the saffron here.
  
  
• Put the pressure cooker top on the pot and heat up until the whistle is loud and spinning. At this point, turn the heat down to low and let it sit for approxmiately 7 minutes.
  
• After 7 minutes, turn off the heat and let it sit for an additional 3 minutes.
  
  (Actually timings will depend on the technology of the pressure cooker, this one was apparently old and new ones are supposed to be even faster! If you are using a normal pot, it will take approximately twice the amount of time. If you are using a large broad pan, no lid, as most people usually do, then it will take even longer.)
  

6. The eating

• Serve with Spanish red wine (Rioja for example) because Spain is a wine counry and we have the best wines in teh world.
• Remember to also eat the toasted bits of rice stuck on the inside of the pot (called "sacarat" in some parts) because it is where the flavor has crystalized and is the best part.
• You will probably want to have dessert afterwards, followed by a shot of something from your liquor cabinet.
  
  
• The post-meal siesta is optional.
  

Pedro's Arroz A La Cubana Recipe

My Spanish housemate made this for me the other day and I took notes. (They were also serving it at the restaurant next to work.)

There are three parts to this dish: (rice, tomato sauce and egg) and they magically come together at the end.

Rice:

1. Heat olive oil in pot.
2. Throw in chunks of garlic, cook till brown.
3. Add in water (twice as much as the amount of rice, and then a bit more).
4. Add some salt.
5. When the water begins to boil, throw in the rice and add a couple of laurel leaves.
6. As the rice sits, cook the other stuff.
   

Mom's tomato sauce:

1. Take your mom-picked tomatoes and cut them into two.
2. Grate the tomatoes and take out the skin in the process.
3. Take a pot, heat olive oil in pot.
4. Optional step 1: Add meat in pot, cook until almost done.
5. Optional step 2: Add chopped onions, cook until almost done. (If you do both optional steps, do 1 first, then 2.)
6. Add grated tomatoes into pot as well as much salt and sugar as you like (mom likes lots of sugar!). Also add other spices here as desired.
7. Cook on low heat for about 45 minutes, remembering to stir regularly.

Egg:

1. Take another pan and heat some olive oil in it.
2. Break an egg or two in the new pan and lap up the olive oil (using the spatula) on top of the eggs (instead of flipping the eggs) to cook it. (There is, as you can guess, quite a bit of olive oil to do this.)

1, 2, 3, combine!

1. On a plate, add in rice, slop on tomato sauce and toss the egg on top.

Enjoy!